Thursday 31 December 2020

The greatest achievement in British history

Well... that was bollocks. 

I probably don't need to tell you that 2020 was a bit of a cruddy year. The pandemic was the main problem and the gross ineptitude of many governments in handling it another. The question of whether money or human life is more highly prized was answered as governments desperately encouraged people to endanger their own lives in the name of economic activity. Perhaps more disturbing was the lengths that ordinary people will go to in order to protect their sense of routine or normality: let's not entertain all that guff about freedom, what people were protesting against was a change to their routine. I've been working from home for nine months and recognise that I'm one of the luckier people in all this, more privileged you might say, but I still feel frustrated at people being cavalier with their own lives. 

Perhaps I am most sensitive to this today. I don't want to go into details, but yesterday my mother and I had to take the decision to let my father go after a very short but shockingly escalating series of health crises. I love and respect my father: with the amount of suffering he is in now, and though it seemed unthinkable a month ago, it would be the height of cruelty to keep him technically alive after all he has suffered. The doctors will administer such drugs as they can to keep him in a peaceful and painless state until he slips away. Yet I have reason to be thankful.

The doctors have been absolutely incredible. The greatest achievement in this country's bloody history is the National Health Service, not just for the sheer scale of the accomplishment but for what it says about us at our best. In recent years, the world has seen Britain at its worst: nativist, small, pompous, self-aggrandizing in its delusions. But at our best, we can be noble, generous, and caring. The National Health Service was built on the belief that we only cross the finishing line when the last of us do. The political titan behind the NHS, Nye Bevan himself, once said: 

"No society can legitimately call itself civilised if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means."

My father will die today, or perhaps tomorrow. He will certainly not live to see his 75th birthday on 21st January. That fills me with sadness. And yet I know that, in the height of a hundred-year pandemic, despite a decade of attacks from the worst government in living memory, they did absolutely everything in the realm of medical knowledge to save him, and when that was impossible to at least make him comfortable. And that fills me with pride. My father does not leave a legacy of unpayable hospital bills, because I and my mother and people I have never met and every British person reading this have already paid those bills. Because the National Health Service represents the very best of what Britain can be, what people, in general, can be. It represents, more than anything else, the human impulse to help others. It represents our belief, despite all of our failings, that nobody should suffer without help. Our belief that money is not more important than human life. 

The NHS was built to make a better world after the fall of fascism in the twentieth century. Now, as it always does in the end, fascism has slithered back out of its cesspits and stalks abroad, warping minds and hearts. But I do not believe it will triumph in the end. Because, for all of our stupidity and self-humiliation of the last few years, the British people still love their NHS. No serious politician will ever say it should be scrapped in public. I believe this is because no matter how much you scare and confuse people into cruel and foolish decisions, at their heart people are still decent, people still believe in supporting each other. These are dark times. But the spirit of the NHS still burns strong. 

Nye Bevan would proud of that spirit. So would my father. I know I am. 

Sunday 6 December 2020

Enter the Kingmaker

 

What can possibly make a civil war between three factions of the most untrustworthy race in the entire world any worse?

An arms dealer, maybe. 

Read a bit about this shifty character.


Monday 30 November 2020

A saga begins

 

The forces of Chaos took a colossal beating at the end of the dark years - even greater than that which the Empire suffered. The tribes of the north find that the world has changed, bringing new problems... and new chances for glory. That is, assuming that there isn't someone even meaner and more brutal than them on the horizon...

Gather round the fire for the saga.

Sunday 25 October 2020

Fear them

The Dark Eldar (don't make me call them that new name) are the alien race I love the most in the 40k universe. It wasn't always so, and deservedly: when I worked at GW in 2005-06, weeks would pass without us selling any Dark Eldar models. I distinctly remember that there was one blister pack of wyches with assault weapons that was sitting on the peg the day I started there, and the day I finished. but in 2010, they were reborn with an almost complete refit both of lore and models. They are undoubtedly the most horrible thing in 40k (including Chaos!) and they represent the perfection of what GW has tried endless to replicate since: the uneasy mixture of science fiction, mysticism and faerie tale weirdness. 


If I said 'quasi-undead space vampire elves' you'd assume that I was talking about a bad Shudder import. But somehow, it works. As cruel and vile and twisted as they are, there's something... kind of sympathetic about the mounds of shit which they have to plough through every moment of their benighted existence. There's something bizarrely almost admirable about the frantic desire of these wretched, evil creatures to stay alive. Given that the alternative is to have their souls eaten by a dark god who pretty much embodies sadism and is almost wholly their creation, you can't entirely blame them. From devouring the suffering of their victims to restore their withering souls to frantic and ever more perverse surgery to rebuilding their own bodies in oubliettes of horror and pain, the Dark Eldar are ultimate survivors. 


The only problem is that for years I couldn't bloody paint them. I kept trying various lacquered metl paintjobs, but they all looked pants. In the end, it occurred to me that I should stick to what I'm good at: miserably industrial and metallic. They look like Moorcock and Clive Barker had a collision anyway, so I decided on dark silver and gold. The light blue bases and red grass were a way to throw a bit of contrast in it. 






I love Scourges. They're one of the most 'Dark Eldar' things. Both from the perspective that in such a vicious society only messages carried by hand can be trusted and because... well... they voluntarily got a haemonculus to hollow their bones with massive drills and suture wings to their backs without any anaesthetic whilst they presumably feed on their own agony! Because you know... they were bored.








Speaking of Dark Eldar who do weird things because they're bored... Wracks. It's one thing to be a freakish flayed Frankensteinian surgeon creature with a cheese grater grafted to your face. It's another to have ended up in that state because you thought it was a good idea having seen the results beforehand. It's the truly frightening thing about the Dark Eldar: the bizarre debasements they inflict on themselves as much as others. 






Their big brethren, the Grosteques, are pretty unnerving too. I'm not keen on the model, so I made mine from Vampire Counts Vargheists and spare Talos bits:







On the other end of the spectrum, Incubi are cool just because they look slick and martial. I really enjoyed painting their helms. 





My final offering for today is a Lhamaean. Again, I'm not too keen on the official model. It's not a bad model, it just doesn't seem to quite fit the aesthetic of the Dark Eldar. So I did a head and hand swap on a Dark Elf Sorceress. Simple!


I have to be in the right mood for Dark Eldar. Although they share some of the visceral horror of my Nurgle stuff, the mood is very different. Nurgle is all about grime and corruption and decay. With Dark Eldar, it's about perversity and invasive cosmetics, about life at its most desperate and demented. 

I might go and paint some cats or something now. 



Tuesday 6 October 2020

Ode to Tabletop World

People get into this hobby for different reasons, but for me a major factor was the narrative aspects and the splendid vistas of the Old World. I started the hobby with Warhammer Fantasy in 1995, and my imagination was carried away by the beatiful timber-framed houses, the little forests and the rickety bridges shown in publications at that time. Now as anyone who lived through the glorious era of Books for Hills can attest, a handsome table can really make the difference. 


Making decent terrain has been something of a passion for me since I learned how to do it when working at Games Workshop in 2005-06, but my already potentially worrying passion was given a boost in 2015. Specifically, when GW dropped Warhammer Fantasy. Those familiar with my Age of Rebuilding project will know that I had no intention of adapting to their new world, but what I realised at that time was that at some time along the way, my own gaming board had been coerced. I'd slipped into the habit of buying GW terrain, and whilst some of the pieces were nice, the overrall effect seemed to be that someone had put Clive Barker and Tim Burton's works into a blender and then drizzled them across my table. I decided it was time to restore my terrain collection to what the Old World should be. Cue lots of individually based Gaugesmaster trees... and Tabletop World. 



Tabletop World is a small Croatian company that specialises in scenery which, whilst never outright stated, seems aimed at Warhammer Fantasy players. Now straight up, let's be clear: these models are expensive. Like, almost GW expensive. I'm warning you of that now not because I think that as a wargamer you're averse to high prices (!) but because once you've got one of these kits, you'll immediately want to outfit your entire table with them.






These models are beautiful. The detailing is incredible, including interior detail. Details as small as crumbling plaster are sculpted. They aren't the quickest models to paint because of the sheer amount of features, but honestly they're among the most enjoyable I've ever worked on. 






The roofs and sometimes the individual floors of buildings can be removed, which means that garrisoning can be done by literally placing models in the building rather than abstraction. 








Tabletop World uses a very nice, cream-coloured resin for their models. At one point I tried painting one without washing to see if it worked. To my surprise it almost completely worked fine, though I would still always recommend washing resin (I was just curious at the time). I don't remember ever encountering flash or injection lines on the kits. If your only experience of working with resin is the horrible defect-ridden stuff that GW uses (Forgeworld and Finecast) then TTW kits will leave you goggling in astonishment and thinking you've forgotten something. 



I should emphasise again: if what you want are cheap and nice but not awesome, this isn't the range for you. 4ground do some decent stuff that's easy to get ready. But if you really want to create an immersive and beautiful tabletop environment, Tabletop World is well worth the investment!














Monday 31 August 2020

The World Turns

After the longest, strangest year in history, the first semblance of normality has begun to creep back into the lives of everyday people. The rulers of the Old World's nations can finally begin to look past the needs of immediate survival and plan for a future which, whilst uncertain, is more filled with possibility than ever before. 

Read The World Turns